Doubt

I practiced 90 minutes of meditation this morning, feeling great.  Went to work (my job as artist) and after two hours felt consumed by doubt.  The list is long.  I swear my brain can find a million things to doubt about my life and decisions in less than a second.  While painting, I was listening to a Podcast with Deepak Chopra.  He seemed subdued and doubtful about the state of the world, maybe consigned is a better word.   This did not help the descent I was feeling.

After mentally thrashing about for awhile,  I sat down to meditate and thrashed there for awhile.   Looked through some books for consoling, even though the more I sit, the more I know I have the answers.  Consoled from what? That I lost control of my brain again?

After driving myself suffiently crazy, I did a 30 minute chant.  Although I don’t recommend self torture, this is the time when you really see the power of chanting.  I feel my frequencies come back to a level of joy and contentment.