I practiced 90 minutes of meditation this morning, feeling great. Went to work (my job as artist) and after two hours felt consumed by doubt. The list is long. I swear my brain can find a million things to doubt about my life and decisions in less than a second. While painting, I was listening to a Podcast with Deepak Chopra. He seemed subdued and doubtful about the state of the world, maybe consigned is a better word. This did not help the descent I was feeling.
After mentally thrashing about for awhile, I sat down to meditate and thrashed there for awhile. Looked through some books for consoling, even though the more I sit, the more I know I have the answers. Consoled from what? That I lost control of my brain again?
After driving myself suffiently crazy, I did a 30 minute chant. Although I don’t recommend self torture, this is the time when you really see the power of chanting. I feel my frequencies come back to a level of joy and contentment.
